“And what else?”

Reading with my 5 year old son has created a new sense of patience - stopping myself from jumping in and saying the word aloud that is so clearly written in front of me. Rather - allowing him to sound it out and find his own way there.

This got me thinking about the number of times that we jump in too soon, finishing off another’s sentence or offering up advice or solutions that have simply not been asked for.

We all have this deep, ingrained habit of slipping into “fixer mode” or “advice-giver.”

I challenge you to try being aware of this urge and note how many times it is triggered for you per day? Of interest, a study by Howard Beckman and Richard Frankel quoted that the average time to interruption for a doctor was 18 seconds.

When you feel this urge to offer your words of wisdom, ask yourself - do you really know what is going on for that individual, what emotions they might be grappling with and ultimately, what solution they need, if any? Does your “sure fire” answer actually just have the consequence of shutting that individual's thought process down?

A recent, brilliant read was “The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way you Lead” by Michael Bungay Stanier.

One of his recommended exercises is to break the habit cycle by asking:

“And what else?”

In his view, this is the quickest and easiest way to uncover and create new possibilities.

The bottom line is - stay curious 😊

Give it a try and I would love to know how you get on!